5 Times Chris Tried To Get Darren To Stop Cursing
by Caramelotti
Summary: A Caramelotti Publication: 5 Times Chris Tried To Get Darren To Stop Cursing and 1 Time Chris encouraged Darren To Curse  CrissColfer RPF Crack!Fic
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: And we're back! This is tazitz and I am here with the fourth Caramelotti Publication and I have to say… Its definitely crack!fic! This one is a CrissColfer RPF that has a plot line warranting an M rating. If you don't like RPF or CrissColfer or mature… subjects, hit the back button. Well, it won't become mature until the 6****th**** chapter, so keep that in mind.**

**Also, we would love to get some more reviews from our readers! We want to know what you like, what you don't like (constructively, not in an asshole way!), and we also would LOVE to hear some of your guys ideas for what we can write about! The seven of us are seemingly on drugs most of the time (high on lack of sleep), so we do tend to come up with a bunch of crazy ass ideas, but we need inspiration just like everyone else, SO TELL US WHAT YOU WANT TO READ! It can be CrissColfer or Klaine… (I'd even accept Flaine or KuBlinn… But that's just me!) **

**Anyway… Thank you guys SO much for sticking with us, even after the whole cockblocking misunderstanding. Go forth, read, and review!**

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><p>Chris was napping in his trailer in between scenes when suddenly loud knocking startled him awake. "What the..." he trailed off to himself yanking the metal door open. Darren was standing in front of him, panting. Suddenly it came back to him; Darren was supposed to meet Chris to run lines a half an hour ago.<p>

"Shit, Chris, I'm so sorry I forgot all about our plans," he explained quickly, "I got here as fast as I could." Chris checked his watch.

"Calm down, we don't have to be in makeup for another two hours." His costar let out a sigh.

"I know, but fuck- I just didn't want you to think I completely fucking forgot about you." Chris tried not to cringe at Darren's excessive cursing; he always tended to have a bit of a potty mouth but it got much worse whenever he was worked up over something.

"It's okay, we can run lines now," Chris said yawning, and motioned Darren inside. Darren followed Chris quickly, collapsing on the couch dramatically.

"I just should have fucking remembered. You only reminded me like a million times yesterday and I..."Darren trailed off as he looked at Chris. Chris had also grabbed a seat and looked exhausted. "You okay Chris?" Darren asked.

"Yeah, just woke up from a nap," Chris responded stretching. As he stretched his shirt rose an inch or two and Darren could not look away.

Snapping back to the present, Darren said, "Ok so what scene are we rehearsing?"

Chris mumbled for a moment before saying, "Coffee shop." Darren nodded then looked around and realized he didn't have his script.

"Goddammit! I think I left my script in my trailer." Darren said. Chris shook his head.

"Its fine, we can just share mine. I have most of my lines memorized anyway." Darren grinned.

"Way to fucking make everyone else look bad Chris! It's only the second fucking day back on set and you've already set the fucking standard." Chris rubbed the sleep out of his eye with one hand while he handed Darren his script with the other.

"Darren, is it really necessary to use the f word after every other word?" Chris yawned and shot an annoyed look at his co-worker. Darren raised an eyebrow and Chris couldn't help but think how sexy Darren looked when he did that.

"What the hell are you talking about Colfer? I don't use the "f word"," he mimed the quotation marks, "every other word. Shit, I didn't even say it in that whole damn sentence!" Again, Chris sighed.

"No, you may not have used it in that sentence, but you cursed three times in that sentence alone!" Chris shot back. "Do you know what they say about people who curse?" Darren shook his head no. "They say that people who curse are people who don't have anything intelligent to say." Darren's jaw dropped.

"Hey, I resent that! I have a shit ton of intelligent things to say! Just because I insert fuck or shit or hell into my speech doesn't mean I'm a fucking Neanderthal!"

"DARREN." Chris threw his hands up, laughing. It wasn't funny, but he was just amazed how awful his mouth was sometimes. Darren blinked, shrugging his shoulders.

"My mother used to say every time someone swears, God kills a kitten."

"Well shi-oot. If that's true then there wouldn't be any cats left on the planet. I'm sorry if it bothers you that much-"

"I just don't think you can stop yourself," Chris interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm willing to bet you can't actually." A wicked grin spread across his lips, causing Darren to get a little worried.

"Chris, you know damn well I can do anything I set my mind to! I could stop swearing whenever the fuck I wanted to!" Darren retorted. Chris raised an eyebrow.

"Really? You really think you can stop swearing?" Darren put his hands on his hips.

"Hell yeah I can!" Chris thought for a second, a smirk forming on his lips.

"Okay, this is the challenge, starting now, every time you swear, I get to tickle you."

"You're—you're going to fucking tickle me, Chris? Is that supposed to be a punishment or some shit?" Chris just shrugged.

"Yes, yes it is! I know for a fact that you're quite ticklish, so I think it would be a suitable punishment! As for the punishment, I do believe you've sworn after the challenge had started, so I'm pretty sure that means that I get to tickle you, Darren." Darren tried to back away, but he was too slow. He was caught by Chris' hands tickling his sides.

"Ch-ris, st-top, please! Shit that tickles!" Chris only tickled harder when Darren swore again. "Fu-ahhhh!" Darren wheezed. The two of them had fallen of their chairs and Chris was now straddling the smaller man. "I st- I stopped that time!" Chris lifted his hands.

"Are you done swearing?"

"I can't believe you are actually doing this!" The taller man cocked an eyebrow.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Yes! If you stop, I will!" Darren shouted. Chris grinned with satisfaction before rolling off him.

"Good. Now let's run lines." Darren groaned and clambered back onto his seat. He felt oddly lonely without Chris on top of him, but he shrugged it off. Chris raised his eyebrow again, asking Darren if he was ready to begin and Darren gestured with his hands as if to say 'go ahead'. "Blaine, wait up!" Chris started, in character.

"What's going on, Chr- aww fuck," Darren caught his flub, but realized his second mistake too late as Chris dived at him again. Darren braced himself for the impact and received a lapful of Chris, who started tickling him immediately. This time, Chris was relentless, not stopping at all.

"Chris. Ah.. please stop," Darren begged . Chris continued as if he didn't hear Darren, tickling his sides where Darren was most ticklish. Darren laughed hysterically trying to wiggle out of Chris' grasp, which made him shift in a way that sent a jolt of pleasure through his body. Darren immediately froze and Chris continued for a second but then stopped when he realized Darren wasn't moving or laughing anymore, and backed away.

"Are you okay? I didn't do anything wrong did I? Oh god... did I hurt you?" Chris asked.

Blushing, Darren responded, "No, I'm okay. Uh, let's just continue the lines, okay?"

"Right," Chris said, also blushing, adding, "I think... I was just calling out for Blaine to wait..." Darren nodded and Chris started again. "Blaine! Wait up!"

"What's going on Kurt? I was just on my way to the cafeteria. I'm meeting—fuck, that was the wrong part." Chris lunged at Darren, pinning the boy between his knees and against the couch, his hands going directly to Darren's arm pits, the boy flailing under his hold.

"Chris! Please! Please stop!" he yelled breathlessly. As Darren's body flailed about, his hips hit directly into Chris's.

"Darren… are you..?" Darren pushed the taller boy off of him.

"I think we need to finish rehearsing these damn lines, Chris. I'm never going to get them right." Chris looked back towards Darren, his eyebrow raised.

"You do realize you swore yet again, you know what that means, right?"

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><p>After running lines for half an hour and heading to hair and make-up, the pair was ready to begin shooting the scene they had been practicing. While Brad was giving staging directions to Chris, Darren was messing around with the bike that was supposed to be a prop in their scene. He started riding it around and around the set, careful not to hit anyone who was actually doing their job.<p>

"DARREN!" Darren's head shot up as he heard Brad call him name. "Get your ass over here so we can start shooting!" Darren turned handlebars to the bike and started heading back in Brad and Chris' general direction. He looked on as Brad said something to Chris that made the pale boy laugh. Darren couldn't help but stare as Chris doubled over, his hair falling into his face and his cheeks turning bright red. He continued to stare, taking note of Chris' shirt riding up on the side and showing off a pale ivory hip bone. What he didn't take note of, however, was the intern who decided to walk in front of him.

"Oh my god!" Darren jerked the handlebars to the extreme left as he heard the intern exclaim his panic. He lost control of the bike and unceremoniously landed on the set with a crash.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, OH FUCKING GOD ALL MIGHTY IN HELL!" He howled in pain, clutching his left leg to his chest. Chris ran over to him. "Oh my god, Chris, it hurts so ba…" He got cut off as Chris dug his fingers into Darren's side. "Ahhh, Chris! Fucking stop it, I'm in so much pain, this shouldn't get to count!" He tried shoving the taller boy away from him, but Chris held his ground.

"You know what? Karma's a bitch. I'll let you go, though, since you're in pain; you punished yourself." Darren attempted to stand, but when he stood on his foot in question, it collapsed beneath him.

"Shi-ooooot!" He drew out, putting emphasis on the fact he caught himself when he realized something. "Hey Chris, you just swore! That's not fair!"

"It's a figure of speech! Besides, I don't have a sailor mouth like you, so I'm entitled to swear every now and then." Darren angrily pressed his lips together.

"You are soooo going to get it."

"I guess you'll have to catch me first!" Chris smirked before turning to run off. Darren moved to follow- forgetting about his injury- and fell to the ground again. He frowned and slumped his shoulders in defeat. From behind him, Brad groaned.

"You two will be the death of me. Someone help Darren back to his trailer; I'll send someone to look at your foot. I guess we'll just have to push the scene to tomorrow, but Ryan will not be happy about this..." He trailed off before stalking away.


	2. Chapter 2

Darren was waiting in his trailer for Chris to arrive. They had a few hours before they were due back for filming and Darren needed a little extra help with the choreography for the number they were shooting that night. When Chris knocked on the trailer door, Darren was just finishing up his snack.

"You ready to practice the choreography, Darren?" Chris asked, peeking his head in the door.

"Yeah, I'll be right out, let me just put away this trail mix." As Darren stood to put the trail mix away, he knocked the bag off the table. "Goddammit!" he yelled as he knelt down to sweep up the fallen snack.

"What did I tell you about swearing?" Chris asked.

"Uhh.. I swore too much and you didn't like it?" Darren tried to look innocent.

"Exactly! I don't understand how someone can have such a potty mouth!" Chris stated with his hand on his hip.

"Oh, what? Are you going to tickle me again, Chris?" Darren asked sarcastically. "I really hated that! It wasn't fair that you got to attack me without warning!" Darren sat back on his feet, his hands up by his head. "Do your worst, Colfer!"

"Nope, the tickling didn't work. I'm moving on to something else!" Chris grabbed Darren's cell phone from the table. "C'mon, we've got a lot of practice to do if you're ever going to get that choreography down! Let's go!"

Darren hopped up from his position on the floor and followed Chris out of the trailer. They walked to an empty space of the lot where Chris had already set up an iPod speaker. "Chrissssss!" Darren whined, throwing his hands to his side. "Are we actually going to practice outside? It's so fucking hot out here, I feel like I'm in the outer circles of hell waiting to get shit on for my sins!" Chris rolled his eye.

"That's two and three." Darren gave him an extremely confused look. "Never mind. Yes, we're practicing outside, so shut up and tell me what you need help with!" Chris looked down at Darren's phone that was still in his possession and started fiddling with the keypad.

"Chris, what are yo-…" Chris cut him off.

"Let's start at the top!" The dance Zach choreographed for their newest number had left the two boys at the brink of passing out from exhaustion, and Chris with another eight curse words from Darren to add to his list. The heat of the Los Angeles summer also didn't help much. Darren downed the last few drops of his water before yanking his shirt off. Chris attempted not to stare at the lean back muscles of his costar as he leaned to turn off the iHome, but miserably failed. Darren turned back to face him and Chris watched as on bead of sweat traced its way down Darren's abs-

"Chris?" Darren was looking at him oddly.

"Yeah?" Chris asked, flushing at being caught.

"I think that's enough rehearsal for today. I'm gonna go shower off." Chris watched Darren walk away before remembering to whip out his phone.

Chris held the phone tightly in his hand for a moment, deciding which would do the most damage. A facebook post? Perhaps post on his website about a free concert in the driveway of his new house? No, twitter was the only way to go about this.

"I'll clear up that potty mouth yet." Clicking on the twitter app, he started to type away. The fangirls and his Starkid friends were all going to have a field day with this. Feeling accomplished, he walked his way back to the trailers, already feeling the phone in his hand start to explode. _Honestly, 'Darren' makes one comment about going commando... _Chris laughed as he started to go through the pictures on the phone. His laughed turned into a snort when he found some rather embarrassing ones. He _had_ sworn an awful lot today. Maybe two posts to get back at him...

Chris posted a few tweets and then started laughing at the pictures he posted. Then he thought of the best idea and made a tweet about that too. Soon, Chris was too involved with Darren's phone to realize how many posts he made and realized he should stop. He placed the phone back in his pocket to return to Darren later and went to see if Darren finished his shower. He had this great plan to sneak back into Darren's trailer while he was still in the shower, put the phone back and run out before Darren noticed. Chris slowly opened the door to Darren's trailer and snuck inside. He could hear shuffling around in the back and quickly went to put Darren's phone down, but before he could, Darren appeared, toweling off his hair, with nothing covering the rest of him. Chris opened his mouth in surprise, shoving Darren's phone back into his own pocket. Darren jumped in surprise. "Shit, Chris!"

"That's another one." Chris mumbled to himself, pulling Darren's phone out of his pocket and typing away. "Oh, hi Darren!" Darren covered himself with the towel he had been using to dry off his hair.

"What the hell are you doing in here, Chris? Can't you ever fucking knock?"

"Well I suppose I could, but that wouldn't be as fun." Chris smirked, eying Darren's toned chest.

"Is that my phone, Chris?" Chris held the phone up, waving it above Darren's head,

"Maaaybe…" Darren lunged for his phone, but Chris pulled it back out of his reach.

"Goddamn it, Colfer! Give me my phone!" Chris just laughed and stepped back, pulling the phone further from Darren's reach.

"Come and get it!" Darren grabbed a hold of Chris' shoulder, pushing him to the floor of the trailer and trapping his costar under the weight of his body.

"Dammit, Chris, what are you doing with my phone! Hand it over right fucking now you little bastard!" Chris tucked the phone under his back.

"My, my, somebody's swearing up a storm!" Darren dug his phone out from under Chris.

"Hey, weren't you supposed to be 'punishing' me every time I swore?" He asked, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, yes I was…" Chris replied thoughtfully with a wicked grin on his face.

"Well, why didn't you?" Chris laughed.

"I did, just check your phone. Oh, and uh... You dropped your towel when you tackled me, Dare!" Darren turned bright red and instantly dropped his hands to attempt to cover his lower half.

"Erm, yeah, right…" He snatched said towel off of the floor and wrapped it back around his waist. He shook his head and attempted to stop his face from being so hot.

"What're you so embarrassed about Darren? It's not like you're lacking anything…" Chris stopped, realizing that he was speaking out loud. Darren blushed even more.

"Thanks, umm, yeah. Thanks." He ran one hand through his wet curls and smiled shyly at Chris. "Now, why do I need to check my phone?"

"Oh, just check it out… I'm not one to ruin surprises." Chris smirked and Darren instantly became suspicious. He grabbed his phone from the floor and turned the screen on. Tapping his email app, he impatiently waited for his 3G to connect.

"C'mon, c'mon!" He anxiously shook his phone, hoping to make it go faster. When it finally connected, his jaw dropped. "Why in the hell do I have 958 twitter notifications?" He shifted his gaze to Chris. "Chris, what did you do?" Chris shrugged his shoulders and gave what he hoped was an innocent smile.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about Darren." Darren scowled and immediately opened his twitter app. When it loaded, he started scrolling through his page and his jaw dropped.

"CHRISTOPHER PAUL FUCKING COLFER! WHAT IN THE ACTUAL NAME OF FUCKING HELL DID YOU DO TO MY TWITTER?" He moved the hand holding the towel to his waist to hold his phone, effectively dropping the towel, leaving Darren naked once again. This time, he didn't bat an eyelash, simply stared at his phone.

"Darren Criss has smelly feet"

"Darren Criss pees with the door open"

"Darren Criss sleeps with a stuffed bunny named Harvey"

"Darren Criss keeps marshmallows in his hair"

"Darren Criss likes going commando"

"Darren Criss likes streaking across the Paramount set in the middle of the night"

"Darren Criss named his guitar Lucy and she sleeps with his every night"

"Darren Criss is as straight as a bendy ruler"

"Darren Criss doesn't have a favorite color because his life lacks happiness"

"Darren Criss will only eat his food if someone cuts it up into tiny pieces for him"

"Darren Criss still doesn't have his adult teeth"

"Darren Criss uses a brillo pad to wash his hair"

"Darren Criss is in the process of posting A Very Potter Threequel onto YouTube"

"Darren Criss got drunk on Chris Colfer's 21st birthday and stood on a table in his boxers singing "I'll Make A Man Out Of You""

"Darren Criss tapes himself singing in the shower and posts it online"

Line after line of twitter feed glared back at him, retweets from his own twitter page. He sank to the ground, landing on Chris' legs, scrolling down and down his feed. "Chris…" He whispered. "Are you responsible for this?" Chris stared pointedly at the ceiling. After getting caught earlier, he wouldn't let himself look down and see that _Darren Criss_ was sitting on top of him, wet and naked.

"Darren. Towel." Darren dropped his phone.

"Oh shit." He muttered, quickly fumbling for the towel again. While Darren was distracted, Chris deftly snatched the phone lying on the ground before getting up.

"You know what Darren? I'm just going to go." He said quickly before before trying to escape out of the trailer.

"Hey wait a second," Darren started, realizing what was missing. "CHRIS COLFER, YOU GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE!" Chris bolted out of the trailer and across the parking lot. Without thinking, Darren followed, barefoot and clutching the towel around his waist. Chris dodged through cars and other crew members, typing the newest tweets he could come up with off the top of his head.

After a few moments, he realized he wasn't going anywhere, but Darren was still angrily trailing behind him. He figured he would never have another opportunity like this and decided to milk it and head for Paramount's food court. Chris ran through the, Darren crashing through right behind him.

"Christopher! You can't run forever!" Chris hurdled over a chair, dodging the other patrons.

"We'll see about that! I'm the one wearing shoes!" The food court was filled with laughter, but Darren couldn't be bothered to find out what they were all laughing at, he had to catch Chris before he sent any more embarrassing tweets about him. Chris rounded a corner, and Darren took a short cut behind the salad bar. Just as Chris ran out of the food court back towards his trailer, Darren caught him, knocking him to the grass.

"Hand over my damn phone, Chris!" Chris was laughing too hard to put up a fight anymore. He gladly handed over the cell phone.

"Oh God, Darren! This is better than anything I could have come up with!" Chris laughed. Darren snatched his phone back.

"What are you talking about?" As soon as he saw his twitter feed, he knew exactly what Chris was talking about. Apparently at least 27 patrons of the food court had taken out their camera phones and tweeted pictures of him running around the food court, clutching onto his towel, and they were spreading fast. "Fuck you, Chris! This is all your fucking fault! If you hadn't stolen my damn cell phone, this whole damn thing never would have fucking happened!" Chris couldn't contain his laughter. From his spot pinned under his costar, he could see no less than 3 paparazzi with cameras and a few people with camera phones. "What the fuck is so god damn funny, Chris?" Just then, Darren's phone buzzed with a twitter update. Apparently in his haste to catch Chris and retrieve his cell phone, he's once again lost his towel. His bare ass was on display for all of paramount, and pictures were circulating twitter quite quickly. Chris carefully wrapped the towel back around Darren's waist and helped him up, giving him back his cell phone.

"C'mon, Dare, I think you've been through enough for the day, let's get you back to your trailer and find you some clothes."

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><p><strong>AN: Hey everyone! This is tazitz and I wanted to thank you so much from all of us with Caramelotti! We oved reading your reviews and can't wait to hear what you think about the latest installment! Don't forget to tune in tomorrow for the next chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

Darren spent the next couple of days trying to fix the mess that Chris' tweets got him in. It was amazing how many people actually believed the ridiculous statements on his twitter. After sending out another tweet that his twitter account got hacked, he changed his password and logged out of the app on his phone.

He also decided not to leave his phone lying around in the open anymore. However, there was not much he could do about the videos of him running around the food court in a towel. He decided to pretend he meant to do that.

Darren walked out of his trailer towards the set. He was supposed to meet up with Chris, Cory and Lea to run through an upcoming scene. When he reached the 'Lima Bean' set, Lea and Chris were already there, chatting.

"Hey Darren!" Lea greeted when he saw him round the corner.

"Hey, guys! Are we ready to run lines?" Darren asked, bouncing over.

"We're just waiting on Cory now, but we can probably run through the beginning of the scene for now, since Cory doesn't come in yet." Chris answered.

"Okay, sounds good!" Darren replied, pulling out his script and sitting down at one of the tables, "Fuck! I brought the wrong part!" Darren exclaimed, "I think I remember this scene pretty well, but can I look on with someone if I need a reminder?" Chris didn't say anything, just walked behind Darren and swatted him on the arm. "What was that for?" Darren asked, looking up in confusion.

"For being forgetful." Chris answered, sitting down in the chair next to Darren and starting on his lines for the scene. Lea blinked, trying to figure out what was going on, but it seemed to be something between the two of them.

"You can look at mine if you want, Darren," she said, passing the pages over to him. Biting his lip, he went back to the script. He couldn't swear. He didn't even realize he was doing it sometimes! Why did it matter so much to Chris anyway? Pshh, like he never swore. "Darren, about that video that you tweeted..."

"Lea, not now. That wasn't me." His head shifted to Chris as he passed the script back. "It's complicated."

"It's not really," Chris interrupted. "Darren has a potty mouth and I'm seeing to it. Helping him kick a bad habit with tough love."

"It's crap is what it is." Chris swatted the back of his head. "I mean, poopy." After a few takes of the scene, the three of them were done and heading to the food court for a quick dinner before they were called for more scenes.

"I can't wait to film the "A Whole New World" scene." Chris commented.

"I know!" Darren said excitedly. "I can't fu-flipping believe Ryan agreed to my suggestion!" Darren corrected himself before swearing again. He didn't know what Chris's punishment would be now that he had stopped the tweets, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know. Chris and Lea got their food and a table, and Darren was the last to return. As he was walking towards his seat, someone from another table stood to leave theirs, causing the two of them to collide and Darren's food to be scattered across the floor. "Sh-ahhhhhh!" He groaned and apologized to the man. After they found someone to clean up he reluctantly sat down with Chris and Lea. "I'm not gonna swear today, Chris."

"Mmhmm. I'll believe it when I see it."

"Come on, I'm really trying! You've gotta give me a break!"

"Pass the salt, Lea." Chris' aloof tone was infuriating. Couldn't he see that Darren was making a pretty fucking (swearing in his head didn't count) huge effort? You couldn't just ask a guy to break his habits overnight. Somehow Chris didn't seem to recognize that. Fucking perfect Colfer never had a bad habit ever, he'd bet. (Though to be honest, he'd yet to come across an aspect of the man that he didn't find at least slightly endearing… Except when he was being completely infuriating. Like right now.)

"So, Chris, what are your plans for this evening?" Darren asked sweetly. "Perhaps you'd like to take a stroll on the boulevard, marvel at the sights. We can talk about how simply _marvelous,_ just _peachy_ the décor of that charming little café on the corner it. Wouldn't that just be an absolute _delight_?" He placed his chin on bridged fingers and batted his eyelashes coyly.

"Actually, I'm going to sleep." said Chris simply, refusing to take the bait. Goddamn him. Darren pouted.

"What's sleep? Who are you and what have you done with the real Chris Colfer?" Darren put the back of his hand against Chris' forehead, pretending to check for a fever. Chris swatted his hand away.

"Shut up! I'm trying to break my habit of only sleeping 10 hours a week. Apparently it wreaks havoc on your skin and your metabolism and I can't risk marring my body over something so stupid." Darren scoffed and waved his hand in Chris' direction.

"Oh what the fuck eve…" He didn't even get his sentence out before Chris' hand made solid contact with Darren's face.

"OH MY GOD!" Darren shouted, clutching his cheek with both of his hands. "This is spousal abuse! That really hurt, I can't believe you did that!" Chris simply shrugged his shoulders indifferently.

"Well, maybe you should have thought about the words coming out of your mouth before speaking them."

"If there's a huge red mark on my face, Chris, so help me god, you are gonna pay." Darren slid away from the table and stalked off to the set. Chris just rolled his eyes.

"What a drama queen." He glanced at Lea just in time to catch her look of horror. "What?" He took a bite of his sandwich.

"You, just, but, oh my god, Chris! You just slapped Darren in the face really hard! The people in the make-up department probably heard the sound that was made when your hand collided with his cheek!"

"Oh, c'mon Lea, I didn't slap him that hard. Besides, he needs to change his behavior." Lea shook her head.

"Chris, you need to go apologize to him right now."

"But-." Lea kicked him in the shin and cut him off.

"No buts, get your ass to his trailer and apologize!" Chris grudgingly got up from the table, rubbing his shin.

"Fine, but you should just know that I'm going because I want to, not because you told me." Chris walked to Darren's trailer and knocked on the door. He waited a few seconds but got no answer. Deciding he would just see if Darren was there, he tried the door which was open. Walking inside, Chris said, "Darren? Are you there?" There was no response. Chris looked around the trailer for a moment before deciding Darren wasn't there. He left the trailer and then walked around the set. He saw Cory walking and reminded him that he was supposed to run lines with them before. Cory looked apologetic and Chris asked him if he has seen Darren. Cory just shrugged and Chris continued. About to give up on finding Darren, Chris spotted Darren's bag just inside the makeup trailer.

Walking inside it, he noticed Darren sitting on one of the chairs, staring at the mirror. A large pink handprint was on Darren's face, getting pinker by the moment. Chris cringed a bit at the mark. Maybe he had hit Darren a little hard, but Darren wasn't getting the message. "Hey Darren..." Chris said quietly. Darren glanced over at Chris for a moment then looked back in the mirror. "Hey," Darren said. Then, a makeup artist appeared and Darren, looking imploringly into her face with wide wounded puppy eyes, asked her quietly, "Can you fix it?"

The makeup artist rummaged through a drawer, pulling out various containers of makeup, "Yeah, I think we can fix it, just hold still." She dipped the sponge into one of the containers and held Darren's face in place, dabbing the makeup over the hand print on his face. "What—How did this happen, Darren?" she asked, baffled, "Was it another fan girl riot?"

"No, it was me." Chris' voice came softly from the doorway.

"Well, okay, we'll leave it at that then." She smirked, eyeing Chris and finishing up on the makeup. "Alright, you're all set, Darren." She patted him on the shoulder, signaling that he was free to go. "And you-" She said, pointing to Chris, "Be more careful next time!" Chris looked confused, but followed Darren out of the makeup trailer.

"What does she mean by be more careful next time? What did you tell her?"

"I don't know." Darren answered honestly, "I just asked her to cover the mark, I didn't tell her how it happened."

"Oh, okay. Are you up for running some more lines before shooting?"

"I'm not really in the mood," Darren said, taking his bag and stepped past Chris out of the trailer. Chris sighed, about to apologize, but Darren was already halfway across the lot.

"Darren, wait!" He ran to catch up with him, tugging on his arm, but the other pulled away.

"No, Chris. I get it. You don't like swearing. I'm sorry, okay? I don't even know I do it half the time and when I do, I get hit. Now you're just making me self-conscious as hell." Chris rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's just a bad habit-"

"And it's my bad habit. And it makes up part of me. I'm not saying I like it, but it's not harming anyone either. So fuck it." Darren said, stepping out of Chris's reach. "Hit me all you want. If it bothers you that much..." He trailed off, before he started to walk away again. Chris ran after him and planted himself in front of the shorter man.

"Darren, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that I made you feel that way. Seriously, if it's that big of a deal, I'll stop." Darren burst out laughing.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry! I tried to hold it in, I really did, but you looked like someone stole your puppy! Chris, I couldn't care less about how you feel about my swearing. Granted, I'd appreciate it if you didn't leave a love mark on me every time I happen to slip up, but at least it means that you care about me." Darren blushed, realizing the double meaning in his words. Chris grinned.

"Ohhh, you think I'm gorgeous, you wanna kiss me, you wanna hug me, you wanna date me, love me, and marry me!" He threw his arms dramatically around Darren's neck, pushing his lips out in an exaggerated kissy face. "C'mon, lay it on me Dare, you know you want to!"

"What if I don't?" Darren teased.

"I find that hard to believe, but I don't think you actually will." Chris bantered back.

"Oh really?" Chris bit his lip and nodded, giving him a challenging look. Darren slowly leaned in, and when their faces were merely an inch apart, he paused.

"Still sure?" he said quietly, but before Chris had time to answer, he closed the distance and gently pressed their lips together. Chris' eyes were wide open with shock before slowly drifting closed, taking in the moment. All too soon, Darren pulled away. "I think I win this time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Thoughts? Let us know! Also, just know that we have SO much fun writing this stuff and we love to hear your feedback. If you have any prompts (Klaine, Flaine, Raine, Plaine, KuBlinn, KuBlinnchel (Caramelotti's new OTP) or anything that's NOT Finchel (or any hetero sex) or Blam or Kum… We welcome your request!)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chris had spent an extremely fitful night in bed. He punched his pillow over and over again, trying to make it more comfortable and even threw the covers off in an attempt to let the cool air bring his sleep, but nothing worked. He couldn't clear his mind enough to bring unconsciousness to his mind. _Darren kissed me. HE kissed ME. Darren. He kissed ME! _His mind kept racing, replaying the kiss over and over again, memorizing the way Darren's lips felt against his, memorizing the way Darren's hands felt on his face. After a few hours of restlessness, Chris had given up and gone downstairs to watch Cinemax Late Night, hoping that something on there would finally take his mind off of Darren.

However, Chris seemed to forget that late night on the movie stations were nothing but mature content and porn. Stupid, amazing kiss, clouding his mind like this. He flipped the TV off and sighed sinking into the sofa. How the HELL was he supposed to get back at Darren when all he could think about was kissing him again? Turning the TV back on, he flipped through a few more stations, when he saw old episodes of Eastwick. And there he was, Darren Criss, covering up his boner after a rather steamy kiss. Grabbing his laptop off the coffee table, he made his way to a few sites, easily finding screencaps. Sometimes it paid to have crazy, obsessed fans. He could use this, but how? Darren had changed his password on twitter... He'd have to post anything to his own. Hitting print, he stored away the copy with a wicked smile, before he made his way back to bed.

The next morning, after a quick trip to Kinko's and littering the lot with pictures of Darren's 'O' face he pranced his way up to the other boy's trailer. The door was unlocked and he let himself in. There was no sign of Darren, but he could hear the shower running. Chris smiled a little, wondering why he always seemed to catch Darren in the shower lately. The last time was quite eventful. Seeing Darren naked was one thing, but seeing him naked again, after they kissed... That was completely different. Oh great, now all Chris could think of was Darren's naked body. He was probably washing his body right now, water cascading down his lithe frame as he massaged soap into his skin. Great, Chris thought, that isn't going to help his situation right now. Chris ventured closer to where Darren was, hoping to get a glimpse of his body once more, when he heard Darren from inside drop something.

"Goddammit soap! Why can't you stay in my fucking hands?" Chris' first thought went to Darren bending over to grab the soap, his ass exposed to the cold air and to Chris, if only he was in the bathroom. Lost in that daydream, Chris stood there not doing much for the next few minutes. He then heard Darren start to sing. "Oh its shower time... and I am washing..." Chris' mouth dropped open for a second before he realized how great a video this would be. Pulling out his phone, Chris started recording.

Darren continued singing, making up a tune as he went. "I'm singing in the shower, washing my hair, making myself so clean. Oh look, its mango scented! Rinsing out my hair, now I need to condition because my hair is so fucking curlyyyyyyyyy! Washing my body, gonna smell like strawberries, I'll smell like an ice cream sundaeeeeeee! Getting out of the shower, drying off with a towel, oh yeah!" Chris was laughing during the whole thing then realized what Darren said and quickly jumped out of the way just as Darren left the shower, once again with only a towel around him, apparently not learning his lesson from the last time.

Chris was sitting on the couch near the door of Darren's trailer, flipping through a magazine, when Darren saw him. "Chris! What are you doing here!" He asked, confused, wondering if he had forgotten that Chris was coming by.

"I just came by to see if you wanted to go grab some ice cream or something." Chris stated simply, looking up from the magazine. "I noticed the door was unlocked, so I let myself in, I hope that's okay." Fuck, why'd he have to say ice cream? Of all the things he could have said, he had to say ice cream. Darren smelled like an ice cream sundae, and now when he thought of eating ice cream, he thought of Darren smelling like ice cream. This was certainly not helping him out any.

"Uh, sure, I'd love to get some ice cream. I could really go for a strawberry mango sundae with chocolate drizzled on top." He said, licking his lips. "Just let me get dressed real quick. I'll meet you outside in five, okay?" Of-fucking-course Darren had to mention strawberry mango ice cream, Chris thought, holding the magazine carefully over his lap. "Okay, I.. um, I'm going to take this, okay? He said, gesturing to the magazine and scurrying out of the trailer.

While Darren got dressed, Chris paced around outside of the trailer, thinking of anything that would help his _problem _go away. He thought of the mail man, but that apparently only worked for Finn on the show. He thought of dead kittens, serial killers, and horror movies. Right as he heard Darren open the door to his trailer, he felt his problem take care of itself. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"So what brought about your sudden craving for ice cream?" Darren questioned, offering Chris a hand to get up from the step of the trailer. Chris took the offered hand and blushed as Darren held it longer than necessary for a helping hand. Chris shrugged, trying to think of something to not give himself away.

"Ummm, I've been on a diet and I'm finally giving into my cravings." Darren gave Chris a crazy look.

"Why the fuc-rick are you on a diet man?" He turned around to walk backwards in front of Chris. "I mean, look at you." Darren blatantly checked the taller boy out. "You are flawless, Chris. You don't need to change a thing about yourself, especially not your weight." Chris blushed and pushed past his best friend.

"Fine then, lets go get some ice cream so I can get a little meat on my bones!" Chris walked quickly to the other end of the lot where an ice cream vendor was set up. He really didn't want to eat the ice cream right now. _He'd much rather eat something else... No, don't think of that!_ Chris thought.

Darren followed Chris to the ice cream vendor and asked, "What do you want? I'll get it and meet you by the tables?"

"Oh, sure. Uh, just a chocolate sundae will be nice," Chris said, refusing to get anything that would remind him of Darren more.

"Ok, I'll be right back," Darren said then hopped away to get the ice cream. Chris sat at a table, mentally berating himself for his inability to communicate with Darren after that kiss.

Darren didn't seem to mind it or make a big deal of it, so Chris probably shouldn't either. However, Chris still had to get back at him, and Darren did swear again. Pulling out his phone, Chris opened the twitter app and entered Darren's username and password. Denied. It seemed as if Darren changed it. _Smart Darren, but I bet I can guess it._ Chris thought. Chris began typing in words he thought Darren would use, such as Starkid and Harry Potter. On his third try (FreelanceWhales), Chris got in. He quickly typed a tweet saying, "Hey guys, I'm working on a new song as we speak… Here is the link." And then, Chris uploaded the video he just took of Darren singing in the shower. Looking up, he noticed Darren walking back to the table with the ice cream, so he quickly logged off, and put his phone away.

Darren sat down at the table across from Chris, with his ice cream in hand, setting the other cup in front of Chris.

"Enjoy, Chris!" he said, bringing a spoonful of ice cream towards his mouth and licking it off the spoon, nearly _moaning_ around the spoon "Yummm… I'm glad you suggested ice cream, Chris. This tastes really good today, it's so fucking hot out today, I'm already sweating buckets."

Of course Darren had to fucking moan around that spoon, of course he had to sultrily lick the ice cream off the spoon, of course he had to mention how it's so fucking_ hot_ out and draw attention to the fact that Darren was all sweaty.

"Chris!" Darren yelled, affectively snapping him back to reality, "Your ice cream's melting! Aren't you going to eat it?"

"Oh, yeah" Chris mumbled, bringing a spoonful of ice cream to his mouth. "You're right: it does taste really good today."

"Yeah, this mango is to die for!" He stated, bringing the spoon to his lips, "I think it might be the best mango ice cream I've had in a long time." Chris nodded, shoving another spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, trying to think of anything but mango, or strawberry or anything that reminded him of how amazing Darren smelled fresh out of the shower.

"You should really try it!" Darren exclaimed, bringing his spoon to Chris' lips.

"I, alright." Chris opened his mouth allowing Darren to feed him the ice cream, a bit of the melting ice cream dripping down to his chin. Before he knew it, Darren's thumb was wiping the drip from his chin, and Darren was _fucking licking off his thumb_.

"Sorry, it's really starting to melt." He said with a laugh.

"Oh! That is good!" Chris exclaimed, doing his best to think about anything but Darren, and Darren smelling of mangos and Darren wiping ice cream off his chin and licking it.

"I know, right?" Darren practically squealed, taking another huge bite of the fruity treat. Chris watched him, almost letting out a groan at how Darren's lips looked wrapped around the spoon. _I wonder what they'd feel like wrapped around my c- NO! Christopher Colfer, stop right there!_ He took a huge bite of his own sundae, trying to cool down the heat rushing straight to his cheeks.

"Gah, oh my god, oh my god, it hurts!" Chris slapped his hand to his forehead and grimaced in pain.

"Chris, are you alright?" Darren reached his arm forward, grasping the other boys wrist. Chris shook his head.

"Yeah, it's just a freeze brain, it just hurt really badly." Chris relaxed back into his chair, letting the wrist Darren was holding sink to the table. Darren smiled.

"That's why you should take your time with these things Chris!" Chris nodded in agreement.

The pair finished their ice cream and headed back to Darren's trailer, planning on watching a movie or two before getting to set. Darren felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and fished it out. His jaw dropped.

"My email says that I have over 1,000 twitter mentions… Chris, would you have anything to do with this?" Chris put on an innocent face and shrugged.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Chris walked up the steps to Darren's trailer and opened the door The pair walked in and settled on the couch, Darren scrolling through his twitter. His eyes landed upon the original tweet.

"CHRIS! WHAT DID YOU DO?" Chris jumped.

"What are you talking about?" Darren scowled and clicked on the link provided in the tweet. His scowl turned into a look of shock as he watched a video that featured his bathroom door and his…

"CHRIS! YOU POSTED MY BATHROOM SONG ON THE INTERNET?" Chris burst out loud, clutching his stomach as he doubled over.

"Yo- you, you mean you named that song?"

"Of course I named it! I sing it when I'm bored in the shower!" Darren reached over and pinched Chris' arms.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Chris pouted, rubbing his arm.

"That was for taking a video of my bathroom song and putting it on twitter!" Chris smirked.

"Yeah well that video was taken because you cursed in your bathroom song… Consider us even." He leaned back into the couch, his abs aching from the exertion of the laughter. Darren flung his arm around Chris' shoulders and pulled him close as he clicked on the TV.

"I wouldn't consider us anywhere close to even, Colfer."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh god, guys, please don't hate us. Two of us weren't on and another had band camp all day and another had a massive headache and one was watching the TeenNick '902 Were All That livestream and trying to type and make coherent sentences while watching All That and Doug and the rest of her childhood… Anyway, let us know what you think! Chapter 5 will be coming shortly!**

**Also, to answer a question that has come upon us a lot: When Caramelotti writes, we write together, mostly paragraph by paragraph. Our first try at writing our own chapters wasn't well received *coughCockblockFinn*, so we will definitely be sticking to each person writing their own paragraph!**


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a few days since Chris's last attempt at getting Darren to stop. So far, everything had proven fruitless. Naked singing, pepper in his apple juice, stealing his pink sunglasses and holding them for ransom.. nothing.

They were just walking out of a shoot when a group of girls called to them across the lot. Darren bounced his way over for a picture and some autographs, Chris following close behind. As he signed a few pictures, he heard Darren going off again about how much he loved all his fans. It was sweet really, because everyone could tell he meant it. The guy really did feel blessed. And then he heard it.

"Oh yeah, it fucking rocks! I'm still amazed you guys like me so much." The girls all giggled, but Chris sighed heavily, his pen touching down to another headshot. And then it hit him. Before he could stop himself, Darren's number was written across his picture.

"Call it, I dare you," he winked.

The girl's face went red as she clutched the photo to her chest. "I-is it-"

"You'll see!" He smiled at her again and he'd bet based on her expression that if the massive crush of teenagers beginning gathering around her hadn't been so great, she would have fallen to the ground in convulsions.

"Come on, Darren," Chris hissed, pulling at the other boy's sleeve. "If we don't leave now, we'll never escape." Darren pouted, but reluctantly pulled away at Chris' touch, waving goodbye to the girls and calling apologies over his shoulder as they walked away. "Honestly, your overabundance of niceness is going to get us both suffocated to death someday."

"It's still kind of hard for me to believe that all these people just want to talk to me. Well, mostly you, but also me sometimes." He laughed. "It's just so incredible, you know."

Yep, Chris thought, they really want to talk to you. They'll be talking to you a lot more often in the future, I'll bet. He glanced at the happy smile on Darren's face, and a short pang of guilt shot through him.

"I know it's incredible, Darren, but we have to watch ourselves! Many fans are really nice and all, but some are a bit psychotic, especially in numbers!" Chris reminded him, "We don't have time for broken bones and bruises caused by fangirl trampling, we do have a scene to shoot in a couple hours."

Darren sighed, remembering the time he was pulled off the stage by a fan, "I guess you're right, but everyone all so fucking nice to me, I don't like having to walk away from them."

Chris cringed when Darren swore, but he knew the number would be circulating soon enough. This just _had_ to teach Darren a lesson.

Before they even got back to Chris' trailer, Darren's phone was ringing. The second he answered, all he heard was a high pitched squeal and the sound of the phone falling to the concrete.

Chris could see the look Darren was giving him, a look that made him think he'd better run, and fast. And run he did, he sprinted the rest of the way to his trailer, Darren hot on his heels.

"Christopher fucking Colfer, I know this was your doing! You can't run forever! You will so fucking pay for this, Chris!"

"You just aren't learning your lesson Darren! Don't you remember?" Chris yelled back over his shoulder.

Darren yelled, "Just because I swear sometimes doesn't mean you can give out my number to any random person you want!"

They both made it to Chris' trailer and then, Darren's phone started ringing again. He paused, looked at it, and then finally decided to answer it. What could happen if he talked to one fan anyway? Darren answered the phone and said, "Hello!"

He heard a bunch more squealing then a high pitched voice ask, "Is this Darren? Darren Criss? From Glee? And Starkid? I totally have pink sunnies on."

Darren responded with, "Uh hi. And pink sunnies are awesome." Chris looked over at Darren and started laughing. Darren rolled his eyes. "Well, it was nice of you to call me, but I have to be going now. Thanks for being such a great fan!" Darren said then hung up the phone as the girl protested. Well, that wasn't too bad, Darren thought. "You are going to be in trouble Chris," Darren started before his phone rang again, but this time from another number. "How many people did you give my number to?" Darren asked.

Chris blushed a little then said, "Only one... but well, you just confirmed who you are to them... so... I'd expect a lot more calls."

"You are so dead," he growled as the phone rang again. "Hey this is Darren." More screams. "Yeah I know, crazy right? So, I know you all love talking to me, but what if I gave you Chris Colfer's number? I mean he's got all that information on Struck By Lightning."

The girls on the other end sounded like they were about to explode. "Yep the number is-"

"DARREN CRISS DON'T YOU DARE-" but if it was to late. He was giving it out and hanging up.

"They said something about tumblr posts from their phone? You want to play dirty Chris, you just met your maker."

Suddenly Chris's phone exploded in texts and phone calls. "Didn't think that one through did you?" His own phone rang again and he answered it. "Yep, this is Darren. Yep, the number I gave out IS Chris Colfer's."

"Oh for the love of god, Darren!" Chris exclaimed, desperately snatching at the phone pressed to his curly head.

"Nuh-uh!" shouted Darren, lifting the phone high above his head and backing away.

"You do realize I've got at least three inches on you, right? Keepaway doesn't seem like a good plan," Chris said dryly.

The phone rang again and Darren answered it, twirling to keep his hand out of reach of Chris' frantic grabs. "Yep, definitely Chris' number! Call him anytime! Especially at around… two am? That's when he gets his best writing done, but I'm sure he wouldn't mi- oofh!" With that, Darren found himself sprawled out on the pavement, a warm body pressed on top of him. Chris' hands were pawing at his in a failing attempt to grab his phone. He held onto it with a vice grip, and there was nothing the prying fingers could do to get it dislodged from his hand.

The weight on his chest was starting to get uncomfortable, but just as Darren moved to flip the other boy off of him (he was shorter, but that didn't mean he was a weakling), something… happened. It might have been a knee or a thigh or he didn't even know that tipped the balance, but regardless, as Chris continued to wrestle on top of him, he suddenly felt a large portion of the blood in his body rush south.

If there was ever a time for swearing, it would be now.

"Ch-ris," Darren squeaked out, "Please get off of me. Now."

"Oh no, Darren! You're not getting off that easily!" Chris smirked, trying desperately to grab the phone out of Darren's hands, while still holding the shorter man down.

Darren's voice was broken and pleading. "Chris, please! I mean it!"

Chris sat up, sensing the sincerity Darren's voice. "I—I didn't hurt you, did I, Darren? Because I didn't mean to." Chris sat back, still straddling Darren, and set himself on the man's thighs, still worried that he had accidentally hurt Darren.

Darren winced as Chris set himself down –so close- to his little _problem_, hoping that by some stretch of the imagination Chris wouldn't notice what was going on.

"No, you didn't hurt me, Chris. Just, get up, _now_, please."

Chris shifted a little, sensing the discomfort in Darren's tone, "What's wrong, Darren?" he asked.

Darren could tell that if Chris stayed in that position any longer he would surely notice what was going on. The way Chris was sitting made their dicks almost touch and if Chris shifted just a bit forward, they surely would.

"I uh just..." Darren started and then his phone started ringing again and he pressed a button randomly to shut it up. What he didn't realize was that instead of pressing end, he pressed answer.

A quiet hello came from the phone but both boys didn't notice it as Chris looked at Darren again and asked, "Darren, are you sure you are okay?" And with that question, Chris did exactly what Darren didn't want him to do. He shifted his pelvis forward so both their cocks were perfectly aligned. Darren let out a low moan of pleasure and Chris froze.

Darren then realized that what was rubbing up against him was also hard. So he wasn't the only one with a problem right now. The phone slipped from Darren's hand to the ground and the quiet murmurings and giggles that came out of it remained unheard by the boys.

Chris looked at Darren in worry and then made a move to scramble back off him, instead rubbing Darren's dick with his leg as he moved. Darren let out another moan and involuntarily grinded up on Chris. Chris looked panicked and backed away from Darren who then looked up at Chris wide eyed.

The phone still lay forgotten beside them, occasionally emitting high squealing sounds and something that sounded like, "omg i have to post this sound clip on tumblr."

Darren flipped over quickly and grabbed his phone, canceling the call and turned the phone off. He'd worry about all the missed calls later on. His exhale was ragged as he laid beside Chris.

Chris was flushed in the face and tight in the pants and he didn't know what to do. "Shit," Chris swore and Darren rolled over, looking at him in surprise. It wasn't often he heard the other swear so casually. Maybe he was rubbing off on him. No, no he'd just rubbed off on him. "Damn tumblr..."

"This isn't tumblr's fault. We did this to ourselves," Darren said, rolling onto his back beside Chris on the floor. His puppy dog eyes found Chris's and there was a moment between them. Did they go to their respected places and take care of themselves? Forget this happened till their publicists tried to cover it up? Or Darren could kiss him. WAIT. Darren was kissing him! Chris hesitated for a moment, before he was kissing him back, rolling so he was back on top of the other.

Just then, Chris saw a flash out of the corner of his eye, and scrambled up, "Shit! Darren! Paparazzi! We're so screwed!" Chris pulled the shorter man up, dragging him into his trailer and slamming the door behind them.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Hope you liked it! Get excited for Chapter six! I know we're excited to write it! Let us know what you think! **


	6. Chapter 6

"This is all your fault!" Chris yelled, pushing Darren on the chest.

"M-my fault?" Darren stuttered. "You were the one who gave out my phone number to the world!"

"Yes it is YOUR fault! If it wasn't for your swearing problem, I never would have done it! It was just to teach you a lesson! Fuck!" Chris paced around the trailer, "The paparazzi are going to have a field day with those pictures!"

"Oh, don't try to blame this all on me, Chris! You know you're just as much at fault if not more! I did try to make you get off of me!"

"Oh, don't even—"

"Oh, fuck you!" Darren cut off. Chris smirked, raising an eyebrow and crossing his arms in front of his chest

"Oh, don't make promises you can't keep, Dare!"

Darren walked right up to the taller man, wrapping his arms around him and firmly placing his palms over the man's ass, pulling the taller ones hips flush against his own, growing into his ear, "Who said I was?" Chris' skin prickled at the declaration and no sooner than Darren's words registered was he being pushed against the couch, the shorter man straddling his lap, and their mouths needily pressed together, Darren's hands tangling in the brown hair.

Chris' hands fisted in the back of Darren's shirt, pulling his costar's shirt up. Darren broke the kiss, leaning back and raising his arms to allow the taller man to rid him of his t-shirt. Darren did the same, swiftly yanking Chris's shirt up and over his head, ducking down to suck on the now exposed porcelain skin at the man's neck.

Darren nibbled on Chris' neck and grinned when Chris moaned. He moved his mouth up a little and breathed hot breath onto the taller man's ear. "Do you like that?" Instead of responding, Chris thrust his hips into Darren's, showing him just how turned on he actually was. "I'm gonna take that as a yes." Darren smirked before he sucked on Chris earlobe.

Before Darren could get another word in, Chris had placed his hands onto Darren's arms and flipped them on the couch so that they were lying vertically with Chris on top. "You better take that as a yes." Chris positioned one of his legs in between both of Darren's and pushed up against Darren slightly.

"Oh god, Chris, god, please, do that again!" Darren threw his head back, biting his lip to keep from screaming. Chris shook his head.

"Now, what would be the fun in giving you what you want?" Darren's mouth fell open in a pant as he felt the heat beneath his jeans build to a painful level, and the glint in the other boy's eyes suggested there was no release in sight.

"Come _on_," he begged. "Please, seriously, this isn't f-fair…"

"Well, consider this your final punishment then," Chris smirked. His panting grew louder as the fingers ran across his chest, one just circling a nipple before it trailed along his collarbone and then down between his ribs to just above his belt, and stopped.

Darren raised his own hips in an attempt to get that delicious friction back, but Chris placed a hand on his hip and dug his fingers in, forcing Darren back down. He whined in protest. Chris responded by running his other hand slowly up and down Darren's side, light brushes of fingers forming trails of shivers on his skin. He jerked his hips again, but the hand only dug in harder, almost painfully. Chris lowered his mouth to Darren's ear and just _breathed_, in and out, hot breath on his neck an unbelievable contrast to the cold brush of Chris' fingers.

"Two people can play dirty, Colfer," Darren said, his voice hitching. His hand reached down between Chris's legs, giving the hard bulge in his pants a squeeze. Chris moaned, his arms shaking as he tried to hold himself up on Darren's chest.

"N.. no fair," he whined, his hips thrusting into the other's hold.

"Very fair," Darren grinned. More than fair, actually. After all the abuse Chris put him through, he was allowed to have a little fun now. Leaning up, he caught Chris in a deep kiss, rubbing himself up against the other's leg. He moaned into Chris's mouth, feeling his body shake from the friction.

Chris shook with pleasure as Darren rubbed against him, palming his cock and kissed him passionately. Chris swallowed Darren's moan and used his tongue to explore Darren's mouth, reaching his hand farther down to trace around Darren's belly button in a circle. Darren broke the kiss moaning, "More."

Chris smirked and slowly undid Darren's belt, taking his time as he pulled it out of Darren's jeans. Darren thrust up in pleasure again, but Chris was having none of that. He took the belt and tied Darren's hands together with it, just behind his body. The movement was so quick Darren couldn't really see how it happened but his mouth opened in a small "o".

"Holy shit, Chris." Chris smirked and thrust his hips into Darren's again, reveling in the control he now had.

Darren threw his head back in pleasure and once again mumbled, "No fair..."

"Well, you like talking dirty, right, Criss? I feel perfectly justified in playing dirty in return." Chris shoved Darren's shoulders back down so that he was flat on his back, chest rising and falling heavily as he stared up into the blue eyes above him. Chris' face was flushed red in a way that Darren had never seen before. His lips were parted in a half smirk as Chris surveyed his bound conquest, pink and shining with just a hint of Darren's spit. How did he manage to be so beautiful and so goddamn fucking hot at the same time?

Chris pressed his hips down again, a steady roll of heat against Darren's jeans. Behind Darren's back, his hands curled and twisted, aching to reach out and touch, to grab Chris around the waist and press his chest flush to his own. But his wrists were trapped. He was at Chris' mercy. Thank god, then, that Chris had decided to be merciful for once, he thought as a hand slipped down between them and pressed hard against his zipper as Chris ground down, eliciting moans from the pair.

"Chris, Please!" Darren pleaded, as Chris ground the palm of his hand against the bulge in the other man's pants, "Please, just… more." Chris cocked his head to the side, innocently looking down at the smaller man.

"More what, Darren?" Darren's hips rose to Chris', desperately searching for more friction.

"More.. anything! Chris, just please!"

"Surely you know exactly what you want, Darren." Chris bent down, whispering right into Darren's ear, "Just tell me what you want, Dare." Chris' warm breath against Darren's ear sent a sharp jolt of pleasure straight down the man's spine and straight to his groin.

"Just.. anything Chris, just please! I need… anything!" Chris licked a thick stripe from Darren's collar bone to his jaw, gently sucking on the skin below his ear.

"I promise I'll give you whatever you want, Darren," The taller man whispered, nuzzling into the man's neck, "You just have to tell me what exactly it is that you want." Chris slowly pulled at the zipper on Darren's jeans, casually popping open the button and slipping his hand down to palm the man through his boxers. "Just tell me, Dare, you know what you want." Darren audibly whined, struggling against the belt restraining his hands from coming apart.

Chris raised an eyebrow at Darren's reaction and licked his lips. "You've gotta use your words, Darren. Like a big boy."

"Fuck you." Chris let his jaw drop in mock surprise.

"You haven't quite learned your lesson about swearing, have you?" Darren locked eyes with Chris.

"What are you gonna do about it?" Darren challenged. Chris smashed his lips to Darren's, sucking on his bottom lip and biting it as he let go. He reached inside of Darren's boxers and wrapped his hand around his hard cock. Darren groaned.

"Oh god, yes, please, yes." Chris kissed his way down Darren's neck, stopping to suck on his collar bone. He used his free hand to swipe his thumb over Darren's nipple, feeling it harden with his touch.

"Please what, Darren?" Darren thrust himself into Chris' massaging hand.

"I want my cock in your mouth, now!" Chris's face was bright red as his head shot up to look Darren in the eyes. The other was panting, before he looked at his hands in the other boy's pants. "Chris, please," he begged, wiggling his wrists to try and loosen the restraints. Swallowing, Chris removed the other's boxers and there Darren was, in all his glory. His red, throbbing... Chris was feeling rather tight in the briefs himself. Blow job, right. He could do this. Moving his hands up Darren's chest, he leaned down, his tongue moving slowly up Darren's cock.

"God- Chris," he tensed, not wanting to thrust up into Chris. He could tell the boy had barely begun.

Chris looked up at Darren through heavy lidded eyes. He could see Darren was clearly enjoying himself, which caused Chris to grin a little, and he moved a little closer and slowly brought one of Darren's balls into his mouth. Darren emitted a loud groan as Chris used his mouth to explore, slowly sucking, before letting it go with a wet plop. Chris moved back to the head of Darren's cock and sucked at the pre come that was leaking out of it. He then swirled his tongue around the tip and Darren threw back his head in pleasure and he struggled a little with his binding, clearly wanting to touch Chris.

Chris opened his mouth carefully and experimentally lowered it onto Darren' cock, moving about half way down before stopping and looking cheekily at Darren, whose eyes opened when he realized Chris stopped moving.

"Oh god, don't stop," Darren moaned, relishing in the heat Chris' mouth emitted. Chris rewarded Darren's plea with a slow suck, hollowing out his cheeks, and making Darren even harder than he had ever been before.

Chris hummed around the cock in his mouth, causing Darren to thrust his hips upward a bit, searching for more, anything. "Oh god… Chris..." he whimpered, "Oh my god, your mouth… Chris…" Chris placed his hand firmly on the man's hip bone to hold him in place, gently rubbing circles into the skin with his thumb, his other hand fisting around the man's cock where he couldn't reach with his mouth. Chris pulled back, spreading his saliva all along the man's length, looking up at Darren with lust filled eyes.

Darren pulled at the restraint around his wrist, all he wanted to do was run his fingers through the man's hair, that damn belt was the only thing in his way. "Chris... Please!" he whined. Chris smirked.

"Please, what? You know the rule. All you have to do is tell me exactly what you want!" Darren's voice was rough and scratchy.

"Please for the love of god, I need your mouth back on me!"

"Good boy." Chris murmured, flicking his tongue against the underside and sinking his mouth back down again, taking the shorter man as far into his mouth as possible.

Darren shivered, feeling Chris' mouth go places that had never been explored before. Still pulling at the belt around his wrists, he whined and cringed at the pain. Chris took no notice, keeping his focus on making Darren feel things he had never felt before. When Chris started playing with his balls while his cock was still in his mouth, Darren finally broke free from the restraints binding his hands behind his back.

Instantly, his hands were on Chris' head, fingers entwining into the younger man's hair, pulling slightly as Chris used his tongue to put more pressure on the base of his cock.

Chris groaned at feeling his hair being pulled. With more determination than before, Chris started bobbing his head up and down, increasing the speed with which he was pumping Darren.

Darren's eyes rolled back into his head as Chris continued to suck his cock. He didn't know how much longer he could last at this rate. Chris' mouth was doing delicious things to Darren's body and each time Chris sucked, Darren could feel himself getting closer to an orgasm. Chris continued to suck as he felt his own dick press tightly against his pants, almost reaching his own climax. Chris quickly pulled away from Darren to make sure he didn't come too soon. Darren shrieked.

"No! Oh my god Chris!" and he pulled Chris back onto his cock. Chris resumed sucking with vigor, about to climax as Darren screamed, "I'm going to come!" Chris gave one huge final suck as they both came together. Darren's come spilled down Chris' throat as he eagerly sucked it down while Chris came with abandon in his pants. Darren and Chris both remained unmoving, chests heaving from their mutual orgasms, as they stared at each other and tried to catch their breath.

Darren pulled the taller man up to his mouth, crashing their lips together, his tongue darting out to lick at the other man's lips. Chris willingly parted his lips, allowing the shorter man's tongue entrance to his mouth. Darren savored the taste of himself on the other man's tongue, humming his approval into the man's lips.

"Fuck, Chris! I can't believe you… you know…" Chris shrugged.

"You know what they say; spitters are quitters..." Darren laughed.

"Right, and you're no quitter, Colfer! That's for sure!" Chris looked at the shorter man in confusion.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, nothing. We should probably get cleaned up and get to set. It would be really embarrassing to have to explain why we're late." Chris grabbed a fresh pair of clothes and quickly changed, and Darren threw his clothes back on. As they moved towards the door, Chris stopped.

"We really shouldn't leave together, we've already given the paparazzi enough to work with, and we really don't need shots of us leaving my trailer together circulating, too!"

"Oh, right… I'll head out now, and you can follow in like five, sound good?" Sure enough, as soon as Darren stepped out of the trailer, cameras were going off left and right. It didn't matter that he'd left without Chris, the wrinkled clothes and tousled hair gave it all away.

'_Fuck…'_ Darren thought as he passed by the newsstand the next morning. The story and photos were all over the tabloids already.

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><p><strong>AN: And that commences the end of Caramelotti's second 5 + 1! Thank you so much to every person who reviewed this story! Even if its short, knowing that people are reading and liking what they're reading makes writing easier because we know we have an audience! Add us to your author alert page and you can be updated when we publish a new story! Right about now, we're cranking out a story a week, posting a new chapter a night. After we finish a fic, we normally take a day or two to figure out story ideas and then map it out, then we start writing. If you want us to move faster… SEND IN YOUR IDEAS! Thanks for reading!**

**EDIT: Thanks to Orchestra-Eight for pointing out a little slip up! It's been fixed! **


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